Clear
by Solareon
Summary: After killing Otis to save Carl, Shane leaves the group, knowing that he has no place in it anymore. An alternate retelling of Shane's journey, starting from 2X3.
1. Clear

**Summary**: _After killing Otis to save Carl, Shane leaves the group, knowing that he has no place in it anymore. An alternate retelling of Shane's journey, starting from 2X3. There will be old and new faces pressent in this story, from the comics, TV show, and the Telltale Video game._

**Author's Notes:** _I always wanted to see a story where Shane left the Atlanta survivors, he'd always said he wanted to, but never did it, stuff and things, kept getting in his way. I want to explore what would have happened to Shane if he did leave once and for all. _

**Disclaimer**: _The walking Dead and all its characters belongs to Robert Kirkman, AMC, Telltale Games and whoever else I'm forgetting, I own nothing, and if I did, I would have found a way to Redeem Shane...I think._

**Warning**_: Rated T for language, violence, and many other stuff and things. Rating may go up._

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_"There is nothing easy about taking a man's life no matter how little value it may have. But when you get it done, you have to forget it. I guess I haven't quite got that last part down."_

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Chapter 1: Clear

The bathroom was covered in steam from Shane's shower, he'd been in there longer than he should have, he just...he just couldn't wash it all off. It didn't matter that his skin wasn't covered anymore in old sweat or dried blood, he still felt so dirty. He whipped the steam of the mirror and gazed at his reflection, he was trying to see if maybe his own eyes could tell him why he had just done what he did, but there was no answers, just guilt and shame.

He ran his hands through his still damp hair, trying to feel where Otis had latched onto during their struggle after he had shot him, his fingers run against a bold spot and anxiety, fear, and guilt instantly start works its way quick into his mind.

What had he just done?

He needed to cut his hair off, hide any trace of what happened tonight. It didn't take him long to find a razor, and just as he was about to turn it on a knock came from the other side of the door.

"Shane." Rick's voice came from the other side of the door, Shane froze up like a deer in headlights. "The others got here early, they brought all the cars, just thought I'd let you know."

Shane started to take deep breaths, he needed to calm down. "Yeah man thanks, I'll be out there soon."

A moment passed in silence and then Rick spoke again.

"Listen, brother I know things have been...tense lately between us, but thank you." Rick said to the closed-door. "You saved my boy's life. Again. I just...I just"

Shane couldn't take hearing Rick struggle to thank him anymore, it was just making everything worse. He threw the razor back in the cabinet, and tossed back on his old dirty cloths, he just couldn't wear a dead man's cloths. Shane threw open the door and brought Rick into a brotherly hug.

"I already told you before, you had the hard part." Shane hugged Rick as hard as he could, trying to bury all his feelings away. "So don't say thank you." He insisted. "Don't ever think that what you did was easy, because it wasn't."

The two men stood in the hallway hugging, neither saying a way. Rick was filled with too much gratitude to speak, and Shane...well Shane just couldn't bring himself to look his old friend in the eyes anymore.

Hershel had let the group stay in the house for the night, no one really knew what was going to happen next, Carl needed time to recover and Sophia was still missing. Everyone was on edge still, their near death at the CDC had only happened a couple of days ago, and now everything going on with the children of the group, it just seemed the world they were living in was getting darker and darker everyday.

Shane snuck into the room Carl was recovering in, luckily Lori and Rick weren't there at that time, he thankful for that one stroke of luck, he just take seeing them. In their place, a young blonde haired girl was holding onto Carl's hand, Shane recognized her as Hershel's other daughter.

She noticed Shane standing in the doorway of the room and blushed. "I saw his momma doing this, so I thought it'd feel nice for me to do the same while she was taking a break." Said the girl in a southern soft voice. The girl then gently placed Carl's hand down and stood up. "I'll leave you two alone." She then exited the room.

He stepped forward to Carl's beside, sitting in the spot Hershel's daughter had just been sitting in, he placed his head in his hands and started to speak to the sleeping boy.

"I know I promised to be here for ya Carl, but I...I just can't." Shane whispered to the sleeping boy. "I can't be here, I don't belong in this picture."

Shane lifted his head out of his hand, and took off his 22 shaped necklace.

"Ya know, me and your dad always use to talk about what we'd give ya when you got older. He wanted to give ya his hat, I wanted to give ya something you could still wear on a date." Shane chuckled softly then smiled, he brushed some hair out of Carl's face. "I know you're not mine, neither is ya momma, but that never stopped me from loving y'all like you were my own.

He never looked at Lori in any way before the world went to hell, she was like a sister to him, but after he thought Rick died, things just happened. He thought he loved Lori, thought that maybe the horrible nightmare they were living was a sign they should be together, but now he wasn't so sure anymore. Rick was his brother in everything but blood, he loved him, they were friends till the end, and it wasn't until Rick had thanked him again in the hallway, that he realized he couldn't be with Lori, she wasn't his, she was never his. She was Rick's and so was Carl, and really thinking about, Shane was Rick's too, he was his panther, friend, and brother.

Smiling sadly Shane said. "You're gonna beat this world kid. You're stronger than a lot of us." He then placed his necklace around Carl's neck and put it on. "This necklace use to bring me luck, but I think I've used all that luck up. Besides, I think it looks better on you anyway." Standing up, he looked down at the boy he thought of as family, he'd missed the kid, but his place wasn't here anymore. He ruffled Carl's hair and then wordlessly walked out of the room.

Shane had volunteered to take the first watch, Rick had tried to talk him out of it, saying that after what he had done, he just at least get a full nights sleep. Shane just lied saying that he still had too much adrenaline going through his body to sleep, Rick still wasn't satisfied, but let it go, the man was too exhausted from giving so much blood to Carl, he hugged Shane one last time thanking him, then left to go inside.

The sounds of Hershel's farm was peaceful, no groans or moans from walkers, just nature, the stars were bright and the air calmed his nerves a little, for a split second he almost forgot about the world he was living in, but when he closed his eyes, his conscience reminded him, and he remembered why he had volunteered for the first watch anyway.

Running to the assembly of cars the group had brought over when they had come to the farm, Shane quickly found the car he had loaded up on the highway, it had all of his cloths, some weapons and spare ammo, lucky for him, he had hidden all of it, so no one from the group had seen it bringing it over.

He jumped in the driver's side of the car and placed his shotgun in the passenger seat, he started up the car, and thanked his luck again that he had chosen a quiet vehicle, and not a loud hunk of shit. He didn't bother to turn his headlights on, the light would just alert the people in the house.

Shane rolled down his window and looked back at Hershel's farm, looking in the window he knew that Lori, Carl, and Rick were in. He looked longingly at silhouette forms of the family, he cared about the group, he really did, but the Grimes family were people he loved more than life itself. None of that mattered anymore though, he told himself he'd leave the first chance he got, and after what had happened tonight, he knew it was for the better. It would be better this way, Rick and his family could heal, they'd find Sophia, and who knows, maybe he'd be able to find them all again someday, after fixed himself.

Shane looked away from the window and started to drive off, looking at the disappearing form of Hershel's farm in the review mirror.

Nodding to himself Shane knew he was doing the right thing, he had done the wrong so many times that he had almost forgot what doing right felt like, he needed to get away from the group, he needed to...clear. Yeah, clear was the right word.

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**Author's notes:** _Well that's the end of this chapter, I've got some plans for this story, I want to take it places the show couldn't go and introduce characters that might have been looked over, but enough of that for now. _

_Anyway, hope you enjoyed the first chapter, please review! _

_Catch ya later._

_~Solareon._


	2. Lilly Caul

**Author's Notes:** _I really wasn't sure if I was going to continue this story, but after playing the walking dead video game, I got inspiration to continue it. I'm going to say right now, that I'll never have a OC in this story, any character in this story is either from the TV show, Comics, or the video game, it's not like I have any thing against an OC, it's just that I doubt I'd ever be able to make a decent one. Besides with all the characters from this damn franchise, I don't think I'd ever need to make one. _

**Disclaimer**: _The walking Dead and all its characters belongs to Robert Kirkman, AMC, Telltale Games and whoever else I'm forgetting, I own nothing, and if I did, I would have found a way to Redeem Shane...I think._

**Warning**_: Rated T for language, violence, and many other stuff and things. Rating may go up._

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_"You don't know what we had to go through out there, the things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those things yourself. Am I right? 'Cause ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same.."_

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_Chapter 2: Lilly Caul_

_"__I'm Sorry."_

**_Bang._**

_"I'm Sorry."_

**_Bang._**

_"I'm Sorry."_

**_Bang._**

Shane woke up with a strangled gasp, panting and drenched in a cold sweat.

"Christ, not again." He muttered to himself, placing his sweaty head in his hands.

He must have been falling asleep and pulled over to rest his eyes, he hadn't even realized he had stopped driving, it was like he was on auto-pilot. Ever since leaving Hershel's farm a 3 weeks ago, he had driven none stop, only stopping when he needed to scavenge for gas or if he just couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. Living out of his car hadn't been the most comfortable experience, but it's not like he deserved anything better...

The last couple weeks had been miserable, he had been suffering from insomnia and even when he did manage to sleep, he would be plagued with nightmares every time.

Some nights he'd dream about Otis, the look of betrayal on the man's face when he had shot him and left him for dead, other nights he'd dream about Lori, about what happened at the CDC, about the horrifying mistake he had almost made and what he put her through, then there were the nights he'd dream about Rick, he'd dream about the time he had aimed his shotgun at a man who had been the brother he never had, or the when he had left Rick in the hospital after he thought he had died. In the end, it didn't matter what dreams came to him at night, because they all ended the same way; with him waking up filled with self loathing and shame.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Shane picked himself up from the driver's seat, he stretched out his arms and cracked his neck, trying to get some sensation flowing through his body. Sleeping in a car was really starting to make him sore all over, or maybe that was just his twisted ankle, he was still limping on the damn thing, but lucky for him, he still had his car working. If he was left traveling on foot, he'd surly be further up shit's creek without a paddle, not that he wasn't now though...

Shane reached into the glove compartment, and pulled out a map he had stashed in it before leaving the group. He really wasn't sure on where he was going anymore, originally the plan had been to go to Fort Benning, but there were now some complications in that plan now.

He wasn't sure if the group was still going there. Hell, he didn't even know if they had found Sophia yet.

_"Aw, Christ, Sophia..."_

A new wave of guilt hit Shane, dropping the map, he buried his head in his hands again.

For God's sake, he was fucking cop, a sheriff's deputy in the King's County police Department, and yet he had all but forgetting that a little girl was still missing, lost somewhere in the Woods of Georgia, with those _things_, shambling around, devouring anything living, and then turning it into one of _them_.

It had only been three to four months since the world had ended, how the hell did things get _this_ bad, were he was forced into killing his fellow man in cold blood, abounding a defense girl to an unknown, but most likely, tragic fate, and now he had left his group, the people he had survived with since the world had gone to shit.

Shane then violently shook his head, he couldn't think about that now, it wasn't his fault that things had gotten this bad, he tried, he tried doing everything he could. Besides, even if he did turn around and go back to the group, that wouldn't change anything, in fact, it'd probably make things worse. The group wouldn't accept him back, he had killed Otis, and by now Dale had already spilled the beans about the Incident in the woods with Rick, Lori probably had gotten over her gratitude towards him, and now remembered what he had almost did to her at the CDC, and after being gone for a weeks straight, they all had to of known that he had abounded them all.

Shane laughed sadly to himself, he was an exile in dead world, and in the deep, dark corner of his mind, he knew there was no one to blame, but himself, too bad he'd never admit it to anyone, not even himself.

Ever since leaving, he wondered if anyone had missed him; did Lori think about him? Did Rick miss his best friend? Did Carl wonder what happened to the man who was a second father to him?

_"Probably not."_ He thought bitterly.

Sighing one last time, he picked his head up, plucked the map off the floor and threw over his head, he then started the engine of his car. It was time to go, his self-pity party could wait, staying in one place these days could get your ass killed, and that rule was even more important when you were living on the road.

* * *

Most of the day had been uneventful, driving down abounded highways and back roads, scavenging here and there when he could. Sometimes there were walkers, sometimes there wasn't, never once did he run into a herd, the memory of the first one he had seen was still fresh in his mind, so he made sure to keep a look out for another as best he could.

Ever since leaving the farm, he had developed a new Modus Operandi, and that was to never stay in one place too long, never use guns if he didn't have to, to never waste ammo or make too much noise. It had been difficult to stop using his trusty shotgun as much as he liked, but the damn thing made too much noise, and fighting a whole mess of walkers wasn't high on his to-do list.

Come nightfall, he had found himself on some old dirt road, the highway had too many road blocks for him to get through, so he had cut his loses and found an alternate route. The tires of the Hyundai ripped up the dry, dusty dirt road, the car slightly jumping at every little bump in the road. Shane just drove through the night, scattering his eye sight in every direction, looking out for any walkers.

Through the darkness, faint red lights could be seen up ahead of him further down the road, he flicked on his high beams trying to get a better look at what he was coming up on; squinting his eyes, he was able to see that the lights were tail lights from a vehicle.

_"Shit, maybe I can siphon some gas."_ Shane thought speeding the car up, hoping to be able to stock up on some fuel for the Hyundai, he was running low, and the last thing he wanted to do was walk to...to wherever the hell he was going.

It wasn't until he got closer to the tail lights, that his hope for gas disappeared, and his heart dropped into his stomach.

The tail lights he had been looking at were attached to an RV, the damn thing had crashed into a tall oak tree, the front of it was barely recognizable, having wrapped almost completely around the tree.

Shane couldn't stop himself from looking at the nasty crash site in fear, the RV, it looked just like Dale's RV.

But, the group was at the farm! Sophia was still missing, Carl was still recovering from being shot! Did something happen at the farm to force them to leave, and if something did happen, then why was Dale's RV crashed into a tree?

Pulling over by the wreckage, Shane practically jumped out the car and ran inside of the RV, shotgun tightly hand, ready for whatever th hell was going to happen next.

When he got inside the RV, his fears disappeared though. It only took a single glance for him to realize that the RV wasn't Dale's, everything was different inside from the one Dale owned. This RV looked more of wreck, like it had been found in some shitty motel or something. Dale's RV was in prime condition, Shane could say a lot about the man, but the old guy always kept a clean vehicle.

Letting out a breath of relief, Shane lowered his rifle, and leaned against a nearby wall, he closed his eyes and rested his head against it. He wanted to laugh, he worked himself up that the RV was his group's, he was so afraid that maybe someone from the camp was hurt, that he had overlooked that there were more than one RV in the entire state.

He really needed a good nights rest, between his insomnia and nightmares, he was getting pretty damn paranoid.

suddenly, the sound of a gun cocking back reached his ears.

Shane opened his eyes slowly to see the barrel of Beretta staring back at him.

_"Aw, hell."_

The owner of the revolver was a woman, Her dry, dirty chestnut hair was covering most of her face, but looking closely you could see that she was badly banged up, there were bruises and cuts all over her face, her left eye looked like it was in the early stages of developing a black eye, and both of her eyes were bloodshot, there were dark shadows around the ring of her eyes, like her face, they too looked bruised, but Shane could guess the shadows came from lack of sleep than an actually injury.

The woman stepped closer to Shane, pointing her gun directly at his forehead. "Drop the gun." She said in a raspy voice, it was clear she hadn't had anything to drink in a while, and that she was dehydrated.

He slowly lowered his shotgun the ground, then while still keeping her gun trained on him, the woman quickly picked up his shotgun, she placed her Beretta in the back of her pants, then pointed Shane's gun at him.

"I was just passing through." Shane said calmly. "I'm a cop...or...atleast I was a cop."

The woman snorted. "You don't look like cop, let me see you're badge."

"I left my badge in my other pair pants."

The woman cocked the shotgun back. "You should be more respectful to a woman with gun."

"That's _my_ gun." Shane shot back.

"Wasn't that hard taking it from you." The woman replied.

Shane glared hatefully at the woman, and she returned the gesture with just as much venom, if not more. There really wasn't no escaping the woman, he had his back against the wall and she was aiming his own gun right at his face.

"You got a group with you? They waiting outside ready to jump me?" The woman asked peering out of the RV's windows.

Shane sighed, turning his head away from the woman. "Nah, no group. Just me." There wasn't any reason to lie to woman, she had him at gun point. Whatever she was gonna do, he might as well accept it, he was too tired to do anything anyway. Maybe this was karma.

The woman's glare faltered slightly, for a second she almost looked sad, but she quickly regained her composure. "Bullshit." She spat. "No one travels alone anymore."

Looking back towards the woman, Shane closed his eyes again, and laid his head back against the wall. "Then what are you doing out here alone and looking like hell?"

The woman glared harder at Shane, and again there was a hint of sadness in her glare, but he didn't see it, he wasn't sure why, but he didn't want to fight anymore, besides, he was pretty much dead already anyway.

"You answer my question first," The woman said firmly. "Why the fuck are you out here?"

Shruging his shoulders, he said "I'm just trying to get away."

The woman raised an eyebrow. "From what?"

Images flashed through Shane's mind, everything that had happened to him from the day Rick had been shot, to the night he had killed Otis.

"Everything." He answered quietly.

Lowering the shotgun, the woman leaned against the wall opposite of Shane. She was still glaring at him, but there was a small amount of curiosity in her tired, bloodshot eyes. "What's your name, cop?"

"Walsh." Shane said opening his eyes. "Shane Walsh.

A moment passed between them, the woman stared at him for what seemed like an eternity, she then placed Shane's shotgun on a nearby table, away from his reach mind you, but he was just relived it wasn't pointing at his face anymore.

The woman then said. "My names Lilly. Lilly Caul."

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**Author's Note:** _Well that's the end of chapter two. Since playing the Telltale walking dead game, I've really grown to like all of their characters, so I decided to put some of them in this story, and I know that the game is set in the comic universe, and not the TV, but I'm changing some things around. Lilly is from both the comic and video game, well at least use to be, there had been a problem with her back story so Robert Kirckman said they were different, but it's pretty clear that their one and the same, so I'm sticking to it. If you wanna know more about Lilly, ya should check out The Walking Dead wiki page. Well' that is all for now, see ya on the next update._

_Till next time._

_~Solareon_


End file.
